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Sexual Assault in the Military: Listen to Amando, not Liz Trotta
*warning, content may be triggering*
In reaction to the Pentagon announcement that women would be formally permitted in crucial and dangerous jobs closer to the front lines Fox News correspondent Liz Trotta decided to link the growing role of women in the military with an increase in rape. She believes:
- Feminists want “to be warriors and victims at the same time”
- Because they are in close quarters women should expect to be raped
- Current spending on sexual assault prevention is "extreme feminism" that supports women in the military who are "raped too much"
Ms. Trotta is referring to the Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Program, charged with enabling military readiness by establishing a culture free of sexual assault. The numbers of reported sexual assault are increasing because of the new policies and support that encourage reporting, not women's expanded opportunities to serve. Personally, I wonder if she knows that the task force that led to the program was initiated by Donald Rumsfeld, and the policy was approved under the administration of George W. Bush; neither of whom were particularly known for their extreme feminism.
The Daily Show counters with its trademark mix of media criticism and humor, while Media Matters consolidates the horrified reaction of elected officials and veterans groups. I'd like to add another voice to the conversation.
As a counterpoint to Liz's commentary, please listen Amando's story below. As a Marine, he was gang-raped by fellow officers. His story clearly communicates the horrible effects he experienced as a survivor, why some people don't report the crime, and the importance of the military's Sexual Assault Prevention and Response program.
The Difference Between Sitting Next to Someone at the State of the Union and Rape
While discussing the bipartisan seating arrangement on Fox News, Wall Street Journal reporter Stephen Moore described sitting next to someone from the other party during the State of the Union like "Date Rape."
I've heard this analogy before. Students, leaving a particularly difficult exam might say "that exam raped me." A sports fan (or player) might describe a brutal loss by saying "we got raped out there." I'm asking those people to stop, think about the message they're sending, and stop doing it.
A reasonable response to my critique of the use of the word rape in these situations might say, but people say also use the word "killed" in all of those situations- which is widely considered to be a worse offense than rape- and you're not complaining about them.
I understand that hyperbole is a common and accepted literary device. I've said similar things- probably murdered, massacred, and suicide- all in reference to the end of the Red Sox 2011 season. But, there are several substantive differences when people talk about rape.
First- most victims of rape survive- and then are subject to being re-victimized when they hear people talk about something like a tough exam in the same words they use to describe being sexually violated. Second- rape is far more common than murder and when you use the word around others, you are far more likely to do so around someone whose life has been touched by it. Third- while most murders know that their crime is both a crime and abnormal, rapists don't think that their actions are rape, and that those rapists think they are normal.
So, when a potential rapist hears the word rape (or other language regarding sexual assault) as a substitute or description of an uncomfortable or difficult situation that doesn't have anything to do with assault or violence, it can send them the wrong message: rape is normal, not a big deal.
It's not. 19 out of 20 men would never rape someone. Rape is a brutal crime. Sitting next to someone you disagree with might be uncomfortable for some (you might hope that elected politicians are used to it), but it's not a violation of one's body or one's right to sexual autonomy. It's time we stopped using that word to describe something like sitting next to someone of a different political party.
Thanks to The Raw Story for finding this clip.
Yale Fraternity's Pro-Rape Chant Signals a Need for a Culture Change
This YouTube clip of a pledging ritual by Yale University’s Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity documents them chanting “No means yes, yes means anal.” Gathered in the Old Campus, where the freshmen live, these students shouted several other offensive chants.
As the founding chapter of a national fraternity, you’d think that these young men would embody their commitment to “The Development of a Spirit of Tolerance and Respect for the Rights and Views of Others, the Maintenance of Gentlemanly Dignity…” Their commitment to tolerance and respect appears to be limited to the written word, as these principles are painfully absent in their actions.
Jordan Forney, the fraternity’s president, described the behavior as “a serious lapse in judgment.” This completely misses the real problem. Judgment is the application of facts in a situation in order to make a decision. If judgment were the problem, a correct action could have been simply making sure that these horrific chants were made away from the public eye.
The real problem is not judgment, but values. Their behavior speaks volumes about the values of the fraternity and the individual members. If DKE truly valued respect and gentlemanly dignity, the brothers wouldn’t have ever thought to instruct their pledges to chant pro-rape messages. If membership in DKE promoted leadership, one of the guys would have said something and intervened. All it would have taken is for one of these guys to stand up, lead, and say “Stop. This isn’t right. This chant promotes rape. This isn’t what we’re about.” But, because DKE lacks the right values, they all joined in.
Although their leadership was smart enough to go further in their apology it feels like there is much more work to be done. All they committed to was participation in a discussion. And although this discussion appears to have been a good one, it’s just talk. DKE should use this incident as an opportunity to do a 180 and take the lead in culture change, not just in their own chapter, but on the Yale campus and their national organization.
Let’s get them signed on to be trained by the Yale’s women’s center or a local rape crisis center. Not just a one-off feel-good training, but an ongoing, multi-year commitment to becoming leaders in the men’s anti-rape movement 1 2 3 and the emerging effort to create a culture of intervention 4 5 6.
Delta Kappa Epsilon should adopt a new pledge… to take action against all forms of gender violence and inequality.
